11 July 2008

Amish Handles!

Dan, I am not sure whether you win the prize or not, because you were right, but for the wrong reason.
Amish handles are definitely for sale. In fact it is a result of this phenomenon that the name results. As for big hips, not all cows have big hips, well ok, they have big hips, but some proportionally much smaller than others. I don't think there are too many women that envy even small hipped cows "Ohh, look at her hips, I wish I had hips like hers!" Yeh pretty sure that doesn't happen. Even the people that play "Big Bootie" a lot don't envy cow hips.
Well, where were we, ohh yes Amish handles. Well, I apologize for not getting back sooner on this but alas and alack I have been busy as you will see later.
Amish handles have to do with a salable/usable/tradable item. Cow teats. The name Amish handles is not a derogatory term, it simple refers to a teat that is good for milking by hand or not. Many cows born to Amish farmers hit the road because their teats are not hand size. Here are a couple of pictures:

Cows with teats like pic #2 milk out WAY faster by hand. And on top of that your hands don't get nearly as tired as if you have to use 1 or 2 fingers to milk. In pic #1 you see a cow that would be sold by any reasonable Amish farmer due solely to teat length. Thus, an item traded frequently. Current prevailing prominent dairy practices are breeding toward teat length more like #1 (not an udder like this) and away from the Amish handle teats. There now you know more than you ever wanted to about teat length:).


  1. I screwed up. I didn't read the 'multiple choice' answers you had on your question post. I only read the question! Amish Handles would make a lot sense to the Teats answer.

    But do you have Amish hands?

  2. Wow! I had no idea! :)

  3. Well Alan, I must say...No. I have rather gimpy hands compared to my fine Amish friends. I am pretty sure guys working for us off and on this year (Melvin, Joe, and Elmer) would break my hand if they wanted to when they shook it!

  4. Wow, I must say, I'm glad the mystery is solved. I'll finally be able to go to sleep.

    Now, when I'm trying to buy these Amish handles, do I need to buy the entire cow, or can I just get the handles?


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