13 October 2009

Frost on a Sabbath, on my heart?

Hours roll by and bodies tire. Sleepless nights compound and the sin nature lurks to rule unabated. How often the tongue lies in wait ready to strike. Morning comes early. As milk pours forth the mouth is silent. Mostly. But the mind is churning. Hard freezes bring edgy pasture days. Bloat comes easy to the unsuspecting. Cattle graze not knowing of danger in every bite. The mind keeps churning. Will this year be different than others? Have we learned from mistakes, or like our nature do we keep rehearsing that which we soon regret. Can we repent? Turn away? Do that which we have not always done. Walk a different road? Cattle are restless. Do they know what has changed? Bull menaces. The tongue utters challenge. Reminds of supremacy. Analogies come to mind. How much my heart is in tune with Bull. Demanding attention. Challenging my master. "My way!" "My time!" "My family!" The list is long. I am reminded
My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. " Thank you Lord, your kindness leads us to repentance. I should have remembered the verses that predicated both, but I do not.
Moment passes and I am again working. Time is running hard and I am not. Will I be on time for the gathering of the body of believers for Worship? My mind again begins to churn.
I should have continued praising. In that moment the freshly rising Sun was in my stead, doing my delightful duty of praise.
Frozen mud flying, bitter wind biting at my hands I ride to barn. Are the others done? Yes, barely except one, he is already gone. My heart begins to overflow. Phone in hand my tongue becomes a world of evil, salt water flows fast. An ill spoken response catches me. Deed done, heart sick I go on, later than ever. My mind now a hurricane of spite and malice, yet light dawns mirroring the sun.
Self righteousness is seen for its hideous self.

Luke 5:32 I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.

I am broken. Lord you are my righteousness, I am a sinner.

Therefor you have no excuse, O man, everyone of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man -you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself - that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? Romans 2:1-4

Lord thank you for your kindness. Forgive me.

2 Coringthians 7:10
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

Thank you Lord for enduring such hostility from us, for being so patient.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding you r blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

"My son, do not regard ligtly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."

Lord, because you you we have hope. Give me a repentant heart.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea,
a great High Priest whose name is Love,
who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on his hands,
my name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heav'n he stands
no tongue can bid me thence depart,
no tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to dispair,
and tells me of the guilt within,
upward I look and see Him there,
who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,
my sinful soul is counted free;
for God, the Just, is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me,
to look on Him and pardon me.

Behold Him there! the risen Lamb,
my perfect spotless Righteousness,
the great unchangeable I AM,
the King of Glory and of grace!
One with Himself I cannot die,
my soul is purchased by His blood;
my life is hid with Christ on high,
with Christ, my Savior and my God,
with Christ, my Savior and my God.
-Charitie L. Bancroft